Welcome to Ask the Alien™. questions and answers 106-120.
Your burning questions about aliens, UFO’s, extraterrestrial beings, area 51, alien abduction, crop circles, science, religion, global warming, etc., are answered by our local alien representative. It’s the best extraterrestrial advice in the Universe!
As for your second question, they don’t serve any intoxicants on any ship I’ve ever worked on, although they do on some commercial flights. As for whether or not we “get into” human tranquilizers, I guess the answer to that is that it depends on what you mean by “get into.” I mean, you’re what I’d call a human tranquilizer, and I doubt whether anybody is seriously “into” you.
Hey, just kidding! I’m a kidder. I kid because I love.
Now, go buy a product.
Not much to go on here. But I’m willing to hazard a guess. First, I am guessing that “Mr. Jones” is not an alien. Second, I am guessing that he is your creative writing teacher. Third, I am guessing that you will fail and Mr. Jones will be fired.
Now, as to whether aliens eat with their bottoms, I can only answer for myself: I am rarely without mine.
Sounds to me like you met a female alien in a bar somewhere. You asked for her number, and she told you it wasn’t time for humans to find out much about her. No big deal, it happens to the best of us. I don’t see why you need to take it out on me.
Of course, if I really was telepathic, I WOULD see why you needed to take it out on me, right?
Anyway, I do enjoy a power not unlike that which you humans describe as “telepathy.” That is, I can “hear” your broadcast “thoughts.” But to know what you’re thinking, there still has to be a strong point source signal. Get my drift?
Joel, do you have a teacher named “Mr. Jones,” by any chance?
I refer you to the answer I gave some moments ago. And I’ll add that there’s an old alien proverb that says, “Don’t probe where you eat.” Draw your own conclusions.
Oh, wait! Over — have I taken OVER your president’s brain? No! Not “over,” per se.
Kate Winslet Asks:
As for taking over human bodies, I’ve never tried. Most of them are kind of flabby, anyway, and I’m not sure it’d be a worthwhile or enjoyable experience.
It is fascinating though, given how flabby most human bodies are, that you persist in your interest in cross-breeding with aliens. That seems to be a recurring theme here at “Ask the Alien.” Are we that hot?
I had heard that there’s a lot of anger building in the Middle East, but this is ridiculous.
Anyway, we can’t afford to be too bothered by these kinds of accusations, even if they do use an insufferable number of exclamation points. Besides, it’s to our advantage that humans remain doubtful about our existence and our presence. For one thing, it keeps our question queue manageable. For another, the fewer the number of flabby humans hinting lustily about hybridization, the better.
Alien Lover Asks:
What’s with all the anger and disbelief lately, anyway? Have I somehow been mistaken for a candidate for governor of California?
Nope. Same one I’ve always had.