ask the alien 256-270

Welcome to Ask the Alien™. Questions and answers 256-270.

Your burning questions about aliens, UFO’s, extraterrestrial beings, area 51, alien abduction, crop circles, science, religion, global warming, etc., are answered by our local alien representative. It’s the best extraterrestrial advice in the Universe!

Daniel Asks:

how do we know that your not fake
Stay out late one night, all alone on a dark country road, with no pants on. You’ll find out.

Cloud strife Asks:

I am a 15 year old kid and I was wondering where on the web I could find information on Bithium?
I assume it’s in the same place it was when you were 14. Did you try there first?

Art Asks:

do you aliens look like us humans?live with humans?live on earth?
Some aliens look more like humans than I do. If you squint real hard, I look like a human with an enormous head. A little like John Kerry, actually.

J-Dogg Asks:

Was O.J Simpson really guilty???
Was? What, did he die?

Ray Asks:

Is there any alien restaurants on earth? If So, Where?
I believe all the restaurants on earth are actually native to this planet. I always thought the McRib Sandwich was somewhat difficult to explain, but I don’t believe it’s actually of alien origin.

Mickaylai Asks:

Please explain the whole “Bermuda Triangle” thing. Everyone is talking about it at my high school.
At high school? Really? You guys are nerds. Anyway, the Bermuda Triangle has very little to do with anything. We’ve made some abductions there, true, but only because we were already there on vacation, and it seemed like a good way to write off the expenses.

Stella Asks:

Greetings: How can I be of service to the “Masters of Light”? ToSaL
It depends largely on whether you think Light simply tastes great, or is less filling.

Sharon Asks:

how do u spell my name in ailen language
U don’t appear able to spell in ur own language, actually. But that aside, what makes you think there’s an alien word for “Sharon?”

Darlene Asks:

Why can’t I remember what happened during my abduction? What’s the big secret?
That wasn’t an “abduction,” Darlene. That was “high school.”

Steve Asks:

Hey,I don’t know if I have been drinkingto much or what but I noticed a new planet out there and reading the newspapers has confirmed it. Did you guys move a new planet in here without permission? and if so how much is parkinggoing to cost there.
Hey,I don’t know if I have been drinkingto much or what but I noticed a new planet out there and reading the newspapers has confirmed it. Did you guys move a new planet in here without permission? and if so how much is parkinggoing to cost there.

jonny twobags Asks:

are thier alien punrockers?
I enjoy the occasional pun, but I wouldn’t say I rock, necessarily.

Molly Asks:

mommy?
?

adolph hitler Asks:

Do you ever abduct jews???
Yes, and when I do it, I don’t go around denying it, either.

jonny twobags Asks:

do aliens have wars among themselfs. or with other alien nations??
These days, we mostly settle our differences with competitive reality television programs.

Osama Binladen Asks:

ok, ok, i have a request for you. if u take a world map and look at it carfully u will see a country with the name United Staes on it. please destroy this country. i can over 72 virgins in return for your service
Thanks for the generous offer, but where I probe ‘em, virginity doesn’t count for much.