Undisclosed : Alien UFO Sighting
The night began like any other Saturday. Nothing much else to do but get in the truck, head across the county line and pick up a case of beer. I got the beer all right. But on the way back, something happened that changed my life.
As I got close to home a brightly lit object zipped over my truck. And before i could spit, my truck went dead as a possum. I got out to take a look, and there it was… Hovering, just over the tree-line. Its lights were flashin’ something fierce and it was dartin’ back and forth like some sort of gigantic, crazy firefly. Suddenly, it was directly above me. Before I could think, my feet were headin’ out through the pasture. When I got about half way cross I heard this high-pitched hum and then all of a sudden I couldn’t move. When I turned to see what happened, a bright light flashed in front of my eyes. I guess that’s when things went black.
When I woke up, my watch had stopped, but I could tell it was almost morning. I felt kinda funny in some places I’d rather not mention. And i had this strange feeling that something had been stuck into my brain. Then it hit me not only had my dignity been violated, but one of those gray little bastards swiped my prized, John-Deere Tractor-Pull Trophy ball cap.
From that day on, I decided to devote my life to one never-ending pursuit: cash in on those suckers and make sure they didn’t have the last laugh. Oh yeah, if you happen to get snatched by the same ones who got me, please try to get my hat back.