Welcome to Ask the Alien™. questions and answers 121-135.
Your burning questions about aliens, UFO’s, extraterrestrial beings, area 51, alien abduction, crop circles, science, religion, global warming, etc., are answered by our local alien representative. It’s the best extraterrestrial advice in the Universe!
My brains are made of a carbon-based compound, not dissimilar in appearance to your Gruyère cheese.
I myself have never been interested in controlling a human mind, or for that matter, a body. It’d be like ruining the end of your favorite reality series on TV. I suppose it would be possible, but I’m not sure why I’d want to do it. Why drive a KIA when you’ve got a Ferrari, right?
I’m sorry. That’s rather unfair to the good people at KIA.
I apologize for comparing you to the human mind. That was cruel. You make a quality product, no doubt. nd your cars certainly have a larger capacity, anyway.
I always come from the last galaxy I leave.
I don’t even have a guess at what your second question was supposed to be. You know, the Internet and email have made it so easy to communicate almost instantaneously, it’s amazing you people think you have to take still more shortcuts.
I don’t know. Maybe it’s a faster-than-light thing, and you just wouldn’t understand.
This is just cheating.
I myself have never built an Egyptian pyramid, and frankly, I don’t know why any alien would. We can navigate your planet perfectly well without giant stone markers, thank you very much. And if this is some kind of a ploy to get me to pay overdue property taxes on them, you can forget about it. My lawyer is out of this world.
Waha! Ba-dum, ching!
Anyway, you need to stop and think about what it means to be “the girl” for a guy who can’t get get over himself, and is such a “aick,” whatever that means. I don’t see why he should get over himself if you can’t get over him, either.
Also Annie, long distance relationships rarely work out. Perhaps you should consider moving out of Algeria, or alternatively, dating a camel.
Buy a T-Shirt! They make terrific holiday gifts, and there are only 59 shopping days left ’til Christmas!
Sorry about that. It’s in my DNA.
Time, by the way, is a relative thing. I have as much as I need. Enough, even, to actually type out the word “your,” as opposed to the obviously much faster “ur.”
By the way, I notice that you’ve taken care to save yourself two precious keystrokes with your alternative spelling. What possessed you to give them back, with interest, by including an additional eight question marks?
If you are over the age of 18, and can provide proof, you can send us some photos for clinical evaluation. We’d be happy to help.
Dressing up might work for some aliens. You might be able to lure me with a seafood buffet.
As to your other question, I doubt that any alien would take offense at anything you choose to do with your inflatable toys. We’re pretty open-minded.