ask the alien 136-150

Welcome to Ask the Alien™. questions and answers 136-150.

Your burning questions about aliens, UFO’s, extraterrestrial beings, area 51, alien abduction, crop circles, science, religion, global warming, etc., are answered by our local alien representative. It’s the best extraterrestrial advice in the Universe!

J Asks:

How do aliens talk?
Via e-mail.

Rusty Asks:

What’s going on down there?

You’re the second guy named Rusty to ask me about anal probing in two days, not to mention the second guy to ask me about prison.

Is there some kind of parade going on or something?

Tati Asks:

would you fall in love with a human
Is this a request? A dare? Would I, could I, in a box? What?

Amanda Asks:

So Aliens how do you have mate.
In a calabaza.

Just a little South American humor, there.

Susan Asks:

Partaining to creation stories around the world; How do you think life on Earth was created?

Zeldan Asks:

Do you have magical powers? If so, what are they?
All of what humans consider to be my “powers” are scientifically explainable.

But I do perform a few “magic tricks.” For instance, with the assistance of a sedated human volunteer, I can make certain medical instruments “disappear.”

Annunoqi Asks:

More than necessary, fewer than desirable.

Speaking of greys, does anybody know why they love shuffleboard so much?

Candy Asks:

do you plan anything for human future?if yes does it involve mutations,dna alterations,alien conbustion,or human slavery?
We mostly like to let things go on without too much interference. We’ve run a few tests on DNA alterations — you can even buy the t-shirts to prove it — but we’re holding off on altering human DNA, pending FDA approval.

Human slavery doesn’t interest us much. As you know, it’s very hard to find good help these days.

Aliens Asks:

greeting alien neighbors.we are a small group of aliens living on the planet of pluto.we want to expand our cononization so we are now orbiting planet earth.please we invite you to join forces with us.together we can conquer anything!we specialize in hybridization which we have a human host representing our website (insert shameless advertisement here) used to lure helpless beings to us for experiments and possible mind control.we need to expand now starting with need to help us! email us back imeditly post this to all who read this… the time is NOW!!
Thank you. Drive through.

Joseph Asks:

like a bridge over trobled water! i will lift you up into the sky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!aliens are fake !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (applaese)
OK, OK, here’s a quarter. Now get outta the subway, kid. You’re blocking people on their way to work.

Sheesh. I liked it better when they would just work for food.

Rusty Asks:

Ah, finally a question from a Rusty that isn’t about anal probes.
Oops, wait. Spoke too soon.

I don’t actually know if Michael Jackson is an alien or not. Strictly speaking, he is luring humans into his mothership using a dazzling display of lights and sound. And he does sleep in a hyperbaric chamber. Hmm.

Still, I’m going to say no. I have no hard facts, but having observed closely what humans are actually capable of, I’m gonna say he could still be terran. I mean, we certainly don’t want him.

Steve Asks:

My wife saw a TV movie in the early to mid nineties about an alien invasion. It shown as though it was an actual news broadcast. She would like to know what it was called.
It was called, “Honey, I Ate Some Bad Chinese Food and Hallucinated.”

Rusty Asks:

Question: ok ok i give up! take me if you want to!anal probing,dna alteration whatever!
Thanks for the invite, but that’s not a question. It sounds a little like a come-on, but it’s not a question.

Patrice Asks:

Is Jesus Christ buried in Japan as told by the Thaori of the Planet Thiaoouba in the constellation Centaur or is Jesus Christ buried in India as told by Semjase of the Pleiades, through her Earthling contactee Billy (Eduard) Meier? BTW, I don’t expect a straight answer from this website. I am using your website as one of the many examples to show my nieces and newphews (ages 6 thru 14) that most UFO related websites are of no use or value with regard to serious research of this field.
Does your sibling know that you’re with the children? More importantly, does the County know?

As far as I know, the members of both races you mentioned are a bunch of boisterous drunks, and little else.
Your question is a trick question. The problem with Jesus, as everyone knows, is that you can’t keep that guy buried anywhere, no matter how hard you try.

The Japanese Jesus is most likely a cheap knock-off. And while Christian businessmen may be contemplating outsourcing Jesus to India sometime in the future, to my knowledge, they haven’t done so yet.

Dom Asks:

why do aliens want to probe us
We don’t. But it’s easier than turning you inside out.